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So Far From The Real Thing...


It's coming in a lot more now. Everyday to be exact, and over a lot of things. Even the absence of milk in the refrigerator is a real day breaker.

What's the biggest thing that frustrates you right now?

I haven't gotten into the "zone" and time's not exactly on my side. I want to study hard. I do. It's just......

CASE IN POINT : I'm blogging.

Get my drift? 

Should I just destroy my modem? I'm seriously thinking about it. I need this you know. I really need it. I just... can't.... let... go....of procrastinating. I know what addiction feels like now. I just want to throw myself off a cliff sometimes. Or bash my head against my computer monitor.

What's your biggest fear right now?

Obviously, not passing. But I think before that, and more appropriately, that I wake up and it's already exam time. SHIT.

I need to fucking focus. I need to fucking focus. I need to fucking focus. I need to fucking focus. I need to fucking focus.

Or I'm screwed. Unbelievably, fucking screwed.


Officially My First Day of Review

As KOKO Pimentel said "Today you can relax, tomorrow it's official. You have to start your review!" So here I am, waiting, waiting. I really should start my review. Read a few pages here and there, but now, I mean I really have to get it serious.

So here's what I gotta do:
1. Buy highlighters. Buy my personal review notebooks.
2. Buy Criminal Law Book by Gregorio.
3. Organize my sched. and just see what books to read.
4. Move my frickin' table and move all the stuff on it to boxes.
5. Cut internet.. lol. Maybe not.

Koko's 3 Read System:

1. Read cover to cover. Jot down all nagging questions. Make notes.
2. Read highlights.
3. Read your notes.

Koko's System on Answering:

1. Short answer
2. Legal basis
3. Application on facts
4. Long answer

Yeah, I'm writing all this down just in case I forget.

Oh and as for those breaks I plan to take while I'm on my rigorous study schedule, I'm going to watch movies. MoViEs!! I'm currently waiting for The Soloist. WOW! 

That's it for now. Chop chop!


Stand still

I just turned 25 this week. I'm feeling old and horribly responsible. Technically speaking though, I have been responsible for many years now. Five years to be exact. To be even more precise, five years since I lost my dad. I've been acting as the head of the household. The madre de familia.

It isn't easy to have all that fun taken away from you.

But right now, at 25, it just seems gloomier. Even more of a heavy burden than what it was way back in 2003. Maybe because I just graduated from Law School? Maybe. Perhaps. I think that may be one of the reasons. All in all, 25 is such a milestone of a number. The quarter of a century. The do-or-die age where you have to find your niche once and for all, or you're left to become a bum forever. Oh the pressure. It feels like everything is moving fast and I'm still on a stand still.

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Saturday, too damn early to mention.

It's 9:36 in the morning and I'm AWAKE which is amazing because I wake up everyday at 11:00 in the morning. But as I listen to Mayol crack jokes while he lectures on Obligations and Contracts, I realize it's all worth it.

Mark gets a second cup of coffee. I'm wide awake on Mayol.

But as much as Mayol's lecture is as compelling as Conan O'Brien on meth, the internet beckons me. Yes, we have internet connection in USC people. Hail hail. So I'm online on Multiply. I'm blogging. And Mayol is starting to become more distant every minute. I wonder if he noticed.

I am suddenly brought back to listening as the word CONDOM appears on the white board.

As if noticing my apparent increasing disinterest Mayol snaps me back to his attention. He writes the word "condom" on the board. The students laugh. "Condoooom. Kamo bastos kaayo mo. I erase nang M.." He erases the cause of our momentary mirth and replaces it with the word "condonation". Once again, Mayol has managed to keep us attentive.

I must remind myself that I will miss this when I graduate from Law School.

Right so you get to see a movie once in a while and you start off really good coz the plot's all amazing and then at the last 20 minutes of it, the worse thing happens and the movies just spins out of control. That's what I got with The Departed. At first yeah, I thought man this is gonna be a classic Mafia flick, lots of intricacies and emotional bastardation.. then wham! It ends like an art flick. No sense, everyone ends up dead. What the fuck!

Oh well, just to remember things, coz there are lots of movies I actually like and I want to share em all with everyone but the problem is that I forget them everytime I'm asked that ubiquitous question: what is your favorite movie? I end up not thinking of even one title! So I'd list it down so I could have some sort of future reference:

1. The Untouchables
2. The Godfather
3. The Aviator

The rest of the list will come on. That's about the only two I remember. The Godfather I will never forget though coz it's sort of iconic so no one ever forgets it.

I'll keep updating this. As for now I'm going to watch another Di Caprio film Blood Diamond. Hope that turns out well. The Departed was alright at the start I just didn't feel for the ending.


Sex Rehab

Talk about the X-Files. Me thinks David Duchovny wants to do some X-filing on his own.

One of the weird things I saw on the news lately was that David, star of the X-files, has voluntarily admitted himself to rehab for .. drumroll: SEX ADDICTION.

Turns out the 48 year old actor is not a stranger to accusations of Sex Addiction. Back in '97 he actually rejected the rumors that he was a sex addict but said that between being called a neat freak and a sex addict he'd pick the latter monicker any time.

Well, that turned out in a ruckus now didn't it. Anyhow, it's just funny how Holywood stars never fail to surprise us. Who gets rehabbed for sex addiction?? Hell, how perverted do you actually have to be to call yourself a sex addict in the first place??

Haha. That I think is better left to the imagination. I don't even want to think what David does to the alien prop that he got from the X-Files set as a souvenir. Oh God forbid.

Looking at David though, you would never half guessed he was such a horny little bastard. I mean he is so far from the sexy rock star image that I think should befit a sex addict more.

Somewhere, a nerd is laughing at his apparent vindication. Who thought his hero was gonna be widely known as a SEX ADDICT? Watch out America.

Miss you dude.

I used to call my dad "Doods". We got that from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which we used to watch as kids (every Friday at ABSCBN, right before X-MEN). Guess he got a kick out of the turtles calling each other "Duuuude". At around that time when the TMNT got into our system, we also got into pizza because the turtles all loved pizza. So he'd buy us Mom's Pizza on special days after school. The sari-sari store beside our school used to sell that pizza (speaking of which, I haven't seen those around lately..) On other days, he'd buy us mais (corn), he said it would make us smart. Sometimes it would be peanuts. All the time, whatever snack he'd buy us after school, it was great. It was there that I learned to love food. No matter how simple, or how grand, I learned to love all kinds of food from my dad.

And for the sake of remembering:
I learned how to eat shells from my dad. I always tagged along with him to his trips either to Manila for a case, to the south or north of Cebu (also for a case), or to Busay where we went once with his good friend Uncle Tony. I remember once we had lunch on the mountains on this nipa hut which I think was owned by one of the caretakers of the land. The food consisted of shells of different kinds. I didn't eat those back then, in fact I thought they were disgusting. But dad convinced me to try it. After talk of health benefits, apparent gusto on my  father's face, and a bit of hunger, I tried the shells and I never went back.

I learned how to eat the black fat on bangus from my dad. Back then, black was never good. And anything black and slimy was even worse. It all changed when my dad introduced me to delicious, succulent, juicy milkfish fat!! He gave me a huge slab, taught me to mold it together with my rice using my hands, and then to put the whole thing in my mouth. At first it was strange, too fishy. But I grew to like it, again after talk of health benefits, apparent gusto on my father's face, and a bit of hunger.

I learned how to eat boiled banana from my dad. Yep, that's his staple snack. There would always be a time in every month that he would bring boiled banana as a snack to work. HAHA! He loved the stuff! I have no idea why. He taught me to eat the banana with butter. I have to say it is really good. This time, he didn't have to convince me with talk of health benefits, apparent gusto on his face. I didn't have to be hungry to try it either.

I learned to enjoy Pasil from my dad. You don't have to eat food to enjoy it. You can have equal enjoyment with the process of buying food as well. My father loved fish and one of the things he used to do every Saturday or Sunday morning was to go to Pasil to buy fish. He loved to do it himself. He took me with him once and I too understood his joy. Pasil isn't all that bad people. The market is fascinating in the morning. It's cold because of all the ice and there's a vast amount and variety of fish that it's almost like a show. The haggling is fun too and nothing beats picking your food for yourself.

See where I got my love for food? I got it from my father who loved food even more. My dad even told me once that he wanted to be a priest when he was a kid. The reason was that he never once saw a thin priest back at his hometown. He also envied the priests because they always got bread delivered to them form the local bakery and he'd watch them eat it with butter spread all over the hot bread. That kid got to eat more than just bread with butter when he grew up.

This isn't just about eating and food. These are just some of the things that I learned to love from my dad. These are things that will stay with me forever. Even though he's far away, he's near in thought, in love, in feeling. In every day that I live and in every thing that I do, in every choice that I make and in every fight that I decide to take, I have him in my thoughts.

I miss you dad. See you when I see you.

Yesterday, five years ago, my father left. I said goodbye and remembered his smile everytime we ate together.

nice to see you again

Been a long time since I last wrote something here. First off, my friend's brother got into a car accident. Apparently Friday night, since she texted me on Saturday telling me to take notes since she couldn't go to school because of her brother's accident. That text message, I have to say, went by with not so much as a sleepy glance since I didn't notice at all that there was news about the accident. All I read was "Take notes, can't go to school" or something like that. To which I replied "Di sad ko musulod". There you have it, my unsurpassed reading abilities at its best. Haha.

So I just found out about the accident when I opened multiply today. I have to say, I understand how Drea must have felt. It's awful to have the possibility of a loved one's death get smacked on your face like that. To be more precise, the glaring possibility of death in a smacked up BMW. I saw the pictures and they weren't nice. It's a TOTAL miracle that kid got out OK out of that. Reminds me of an incident a few years back..

Anyway, thank God for giving Drea and her family safety. There are miracles in this world.

As for my family, we just celebrated my grandmother's 88th birthday last July 5. It was a reunion of sorts as all of my mother's clan got together, immigrants included. There's another miracle for you, my grandmother at 88. You have to admit, 88 is a miracle for anyone these days. Anyway, it was a fun event. The icing on the cake was when the siblings each got up (save my mom) to relate their childhood experiences. The common theme of all their recollections? Life was hard but they all got through with hard work and family. Indeed, 10 children could make life pretty hard for a parent, but they got through it. My grandmother must have felt so proud to see all her kids, and grandkids, and great grandkids gathered around her that day. BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA!

That's it, thank God for big and small miracles!

And as Drea said: Wear your seatbelt.

Japanese Culture and the End of Summer

It's been pretty long since I've visited LJ since most of my posts here are crossposts from Multiply. So lately I haven't checked out other LJ users' pages. Hence it came as a shock to see one friend's page gone and untraceable. What the hell? Oh well.

Anyway, God I'm worried. I mean when someone owes you 200 grand you kind of get worried right? Geez I hope that b*tch comes to her senses and pays me back my 200 grand. Fuckit.

Money's not easy to come by you know?

Maaaan, and what with the 26th of May fast coming up? We're starting classes on the 26th, way earlier than the rest, since we're graduating this year. Woopee for that, I mean the graduating part, but not on the earlier schooldate. What a drag for my last summer as a student to have to be this way! I wish I could turn back time. Dammit I really wish I could. Fuckit.


aaargh my neck hurts. i have insect bites all over me and no, i didn't get them from the outdoors. i got them from ants, on my bed, lured by the chips ahoy crumbs that inadvertently fell during my midnight snack. embarrassingly so. hahahhaa.

i can't believe i got hurt from bumming around. aaargh.

have to be careful not to gain 5 pounds.


Latest Month

May 2009